applied kinesiology,muscle testing,robert frost
Comforting the child self
12/10/08 07:43 Filed in: AK used in Psychotherapy
I recently had a female patient, age 26, who in her own words, "In my childhood, I was repeatedly beaten by both parents throughout my life, had an abortion two weeks ago, was raped when I was six years old, don't trust men and am a cutter." I asked her what a cutter is. She replied by showing me her forearms which were covered with perhaps a hundred thin scars.
When the emotional mode came up, I tested through my list and came to "Comforting the Child Self".
I tested which of her major stressors and came to the childhood rape. This is a highly charged emotional issue and requires sensitive handling to reduce the stress. Most popular psychology techniques involve mentally reliving old stressors. In my opinion, these outdated methods just rip open an old wound, create a new wound, and don't necessarily heal it at all. Sure, when there is an infection under a scar, it may be medically necessary to open it up, treat the infection, and close it again. Some psychological problems may need such "sanitizing". However, it has been my experience that one can clear or at least reduce the residual stress of prior traumas without having to emotionally re-experience them. One time was bad enough.
An extreme but telling example: I had a female patient in Basel, Switzerland who had been raped. Her Freudian analyst sat behind his large desk and asked her to describe the event to him in all possible detail, which she did. Then he replied, "Well, our hour is up for today. We'll discuss this next week." She went out in a very fragile and vulnerable state. Her body language must have revealed her vulnerability as she was raped again (by someone else) on the way home. In my opinion, her "therapist" was little more than a voyeur and a sadist.
The technique of "Comforting the Child Self" is particularly useful and effective for cases in which your client had experienced great trauma and still suffers from its after-effects.
My client was on her back on my table so I had her imagine a black and white television screen with a poor quality scratchy picture above her on the ceiling. I told her that she was to remain here with me in 2008 while she watched her 6-year-old self on the ceiling. She was not to identify with being the child, but rather with being her adult self observing. I told her that if I caught her getting into the feelings that I would bang her on the shoulder and say, "Hey, pretty bad movie, huh? Want some pop-corn?" She laughed. I told her that she was to watch the old event in fast-forward motion so she didn't have time to get into it emotionally.
She imagined the old event as I instructed. When a few tear drops ran down her cheek, I wiped them away and reminded her that although it was a sad movie, she was not to "get into it". After she watched it in this dissociated manner, I asked her if she had learned something as a result of that experience. She didn't know what I meant so I asked if she learned not to allow people to do things like that to her anymore. She answered emphatically, "Yes!" I said, "So you see, although it was terrible then, you learned things of great value that still protect you today, didn't you?" She agreed.
Then I instructed her to, in her imagination, go to her six-year-old child self and introduce herself with something like, "Hi. I'm you in the future. I'm the living proof that you survived that awful experience. I'm here now to help you." She did so. I asked if the child believed her. She said, "Yes". I told her to comfort her child self, to stroke her hair, hug her, talk to her and calm her down. When this was accomplished, I instructed her to explain to her child self, "You didn't suffer for nothing. As a result of having gone through that awful event, I (you in the future) have learned important lessons that continue to save me from bad experiences. I know it was horrible for you, but I want you to know that it was not for nothing. And it is over now so you can let go of it. I'm here for you now and I'll always be here for you. In fact, I'm the only one who will always be here for you."
When she told me that her child self believed her and was calmed down, I instructed her to extend her arms, embrace her child self, and draw her into her own chest – to bring her into her heart where she would always be taken care of.
This produced great emotional relief and even joy. My client went away to her holiday with new enthusiasm and capacity to enjoy herself.
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Most of us recall events as if they are happening to us now. The psychological term for this is "associated". When you associate with experiences, you feel them strongly. The first step in treating an emotional trauma in the above way is to assist the client to disassociate, to "get some distance", to observe it dispassionately. To do this you imagine that you are looking at yourself from outside of the picture. Imagining that you are watching it on a movie screen is a good way. Making it a black and white movie in fast motion makes it even harder to identify with the characters in the movie and thereby helps to keep you disassociated. Once you have gained in this way some "emotional distance", you can deal with the old event without suffering in the process.
Freud taught that childhood traumas partially block the flow of our "libido", causing us to have only a fraction of our vitality available in the present.
In a way, some part of my client was still six-years-old, suffering and crying. Some part of her childhood vitality and enthusiasm had been stunted and shut away as a result of her reaction to that experience. Calming the child self, explaining to her that the event is over and that it generated valuable learnings and reintegrating the child self frees the energy that was blocked by that trauma for so long.
--Dr. Robert Frost